


we'll be a memory too

by peaxhmei



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dan - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Lots of Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Phil - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Sad Ending, Yikes, all I write is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaxhmei/pseuds/peaxhmei
Summary: In a world where death dates are seen, memories trigger actions





	

**Author's Note:**

> Uh oh more angst whoopsie-daisies. This was for Phandom Little Pop on Tumblr but I didn't have ao3 then so here we go. I posted this over the summer so it's not too old. I promise there will be a fluff fic up soon! Enjoy :)

**October 19, 2009**

 

There he was: a lanky, five-foot-ten, chocolate-haired teenage boy, weaving in and out through the density of a crowded train station.  Ocean eyes met caramel for the first time outside of a Skype call, and their bodies collided in a big hug.  The two boys held on tight, savouring each second spent in their embrace.  
  
Dan pulled away first, but held on to Phil's arms like his life depended on it.

"You're real," he whispered.  "We're gonna grow old together."  
  
With a chuckle, Phil pulled Dan in for another hug. "What makes you say that?"  
  
"The dates, silly," Dan smiled.  "Your's are March fifteenth, 2075."  
  
"Oh, yeah, I die pretty old, don't I?  What about... " Phil trailed off.  There weren't shimmering numbers above Dan's head.  Had they already faded?  Impossible.  They don't fade until the other sees them in real life or at least mentions them.  
  
Dan's smile faltered. "Oh.  I've never known my dates.  I don't know why.  Birth defect maybe?  I guess this never came up in conversation before since you can't see them through a computer screen."  
  
Their hands clasped together.    
  
"I bet we'll both grow old together anyways," Phil said, and they walked off.

 

**November 8, 2016**

  
  
"I miss it," Dan said.  The two men, now with over (subscriber count) subscribers, a joint gaming channel, a radio show, a book tour, and a six-year-long relationship, were sitting on their couch, both editing videos.

Phil could tell something was wrong.  "Miss what?"  
  
"You know," Dan set his laptop to the side and rested his head in his hands.  "Being carefree, not worrying about anyone finding out about us."  
  
With a sigh, Phil scooted closer to Dan in an attempt to comfort him.  He knew that this would end up in a fight, but they had to talk it out.  "This again?  Bear, I don't care what other people think.  I just love being with you.  If you want to tell the fans, I'm all for it."  
  
"Phil, no, I just — ever since then..." Dan rubbed his eyes and shuffled away from Phil's touch, much to Phil's dismay.  
  
"Ever since when?"  
  
"2012!" Dan suddenly yelled.    
  
Phil froze.  
  
He stood up and faced Phil.  Phil's eyes were cast to the ground.  He was seething.  "Dammit Phil, ever since 2012 something was off.  I mean, I love you, but you seemed so hard to love after — "  
  
"Me?" Phil whispered.  "I was hard to love, Dan?  After what you did to me?"  His voice was quiet, but full of hurt and anger.

 “Yes, Phil, you were difficult.  So fucking difficult, and you have nothing to back yourself up with!” Dan snorted in retaliation.  “You and your fucking smile and never-ending positivity; you didn't know anything was wrong!  You were completely oblivious to everything.”

 Hands clenched, Phil sat in silence.  He had nothing to say.  

 “Say something, Phil.”

 Phil said nothing.  Dan had no idea at all.  He took it all because there were no words to describe his feelings.

 “Phil, I swear to god, you always do this.  This is why nothing ever gets resolved.  You just shut down.   _Say something_.”

 More silence.

 Dan grabbed a vase and threw it to the floor, making Phil flinch.  Shards of glass flew in every direction.

 “SAY SOMETHING GODDAMMIT,” Dan screeched, face beet red.  “Stop accepting this and fight back!  You always just sit there and you don't —”

 “I avoid conflict with people like you,” Phil bit back.  The coldness in his voice shocked Dan.

 Dan's face went from anger to nothing.  His voice was hoarse from screaming when he spoke.

 “Fine.  I'll leave.”

 Dan stormed out of the living room and slammed the door, but not before Phil saw the numbers above his head.

 

_Date: November 8, 2016_

 

“Oh my god,” Phil whispered.

 

***

 

Phil sobbed into his phone, his other hand clenched tight to his chest.  

  _Hi, you’ve reached Dan Howell, sorry I’m not here to take your call!  Call me back!_

 That was the third time Phil had called Dan with no response.  Phil turned his phone off and sniffed.  Dan was gone, and he was going to die.  They couldn't leave each other on such a bad note.

 Phil found himself on a bench in their neighbourhood park, with nowhere to go, and no one to help him.  He was alone, and there was little to no chance of getting Dan back.  Even if he did, he would die right then and there.  

 A loud siren erupted his thoughts, and he looked up to see an ambulance flying down the cold streets of London.  Phil's heart dropped into this stomach.

 “No, no, no, no,” a mumbling Phil sprinted into the city, pushing and shoving at people.  He found the ambulance at a bridge.

 “No,” Phil shook his head in disbelief.  Everything was a nightmare, and Phil was at the very center.  Blurred voices and shaky images passed him by as he ran to the scene.

 “Please, he’s my boyfriend!” he screamed as an officer stopped him from crossing the line.  “He’s mine!”

 Hands held the struggling man back, but there was a glimpse: a limp body, broken, fragile, and dripping wet.  And it hit Phil.  He crumpled to the cold and wet pavement.  It hit him so hard.  Dan was gone, and it was _his_ fault.  It was _Phil’s_ fault that Dan was dead, and that was that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Soz,,,


End file.
